When your child refuses to talk to a therapist, it can be frustrating and concerning as a parent. You want them to get the help they need, but their resistance can feel like a barrier to progress. Understanding why they might be reluctant to engage in therapy is the first step in helping them open up. Let’s get into the reasons behind this behavior and how to engage a resistant teen in therapy.
Why Your Teen Might Resist Therapy
Lack of Trust
Teens might not feel comfortable with the therapist yet. Trust takes time, and without it, they may hesitate to open up. It’s important for them to feel safe and that the therapist truly understands them before they start talking.
Feeling Forced
If a teen feels like they’ve been pushed into therapy, they may resist talking. They need to feel like they have some control over the situation. If it feels like something they “have to do,” they might be less willing to engage.
Fear of Being Misunderstood
Teens often believe that adults, including therapists, won’t really get what they’re going through. This fear of being misunderstood can make them avoid sharing their thoughts and feelings, leading them to shut down.
Privacy Concerns
Some teens worry that what they say in therapy will be shared with others, especially parents. If they don’t trust that the conversation stays private (even when you promise it will) they may hold back or refuse to talk.
Difficulty Expressing Emotions
Some teens find it difficult to express their emotions. When they don’t know how to express themselves, it’s easier to avoid talking rather than risk saying the wrong thing.
Not Ready to Address Issues
Sometimes, teens aren’t ready to face their problems head-on. If they’re not emotionally prepared to deal with certain issues, they may avoid talking about them, even in therapy, because it feels overwhelming.
How to Engage a Resistant Child in Therapy
Build Trust Slowly
Start by letting the child engage at their own pace. Avoid asking direct, probing questions early on. Instead, focus on lighter conversations or activities that help them feel relaxed. For example, the therapist can share stories or play games to build a rapport. As they become more comfortable, they’ll feel safer sharing deeper thoughts or feelings.
Give Them a Sense of Control
Offer the child choices during therapy to give them more control over the process. Let them decide what topics to discuss or which activity to try first. Even small decisions, like where to sit or which game to play, can make them feel more in charge. When they have this sense of control, it reduces their feelings of resistance.
Validate Their Feelings
When the child expresses hesitation or discomfort, acknowledge it without judgment. For example, if they say they don’t like therapy, respond with something like, “It’s okay to feel unsure about this. Let’s take it one step at a time.” Validating their emotions helps them feel understood, making them more likely to participate.
Use Creative Activities
Incorporate games, art, or storytelling into therapy sessions to make them more engaging. Some children might feel more comfortable expressing themselves through drawing or playing a game where they take turns asking each other questions. These activities help the child communicate without the pressure of sitting in a traditional therapy setting.
Involve Them in Goal Setting
Ask your teen what they hope to get from therapy, even if it’s something small, like feeling less anxious in school or making a new friend. Set achievable goals together and celebrate their progress, no matter how small. This will help them feel a sense of accomplishment, motivating them to stay engaged.
Be Patient
Don’t expect instant results. Some kids need more time to warm up to therapy. Be patient and celebrate small victories, like the child participating in an activity or sharing a thought. Reassure the child that there’s no rush and that therapy is a space where they can go at their own pace. This approach can help reduce their anxiety and resistance.
Find the Right Environment For Your Teen
Getting a teen to open up in therapy can be challenging, but with the right approach, it’s possible to help them engage and benefit from treatment. At Imagine by Northpoint, our teen treatment programs offer a supportive environment with trustworthy, patient therapists.
We focus on creating a space where teens feel comfortable exploring their emotions and working through their challenges at their own pace. If your teen is struggling to open up in therapy, contact us today to learn how our compassionate programs can help.
